Pośmiejmy się razem 4

Szef wrócił z lunchu w bardzo dobrym humorze i zwołał wszystkich pracowników, by wysłuchali kilku dowcipów, które usłyszał. Wszyscy śmiali się do rozpuku, oprócz jednej dziewczyny.
- O co chodzi? - przyczepił się szef. Nie masz poczucia humoru?
- Nie muszę się śmiać - odpowiedziała dziewczyna. Odchodzę w piątek.




Do żebraka stojącego pod kościołem podchodzi elegancko ubrany mężczyzna i mówi:
- Cześć, Stasiu! Chciałem Ci pogratulować i powiedzieć, że wszyscy w biurze nie znajdujemy słów podziwu dla Twojej odwagi. Wspaniale wygarnąłeś szefowi, co o nim myślisz.

Focie na kiblu zawsze spoko!

Nowy kierownik, żeby sie przypodobać, w pierwszy dzień na spotkaniu z załogą przedstawia plan pracy:
- W poniedziałek będziemy odpoczywać po weekendzie.
- We wtorek będziemy się przygotowywać do pracy.
- W środę pracujemy.
- W czwartek odpoczniemy po środzie.
- W piątek przygotujemy się do weekendu.
I zadowolony z siebie na koniec:
- Czy są jakieś pytania?
Z załogi ktoś się odzywa:
- Jak długo będziemy tak zapieprzać?

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min-height:250px; padding-top:25px;} div.uphadv{ width:420px; margin: 0 auto; float: left; text-align:center; height:300px; } div.upnhadv{ width:420px; margin: 0 auto; float: right; text-align:center; vertical-align:middle ; height:250px; padding-top:25px;} td.midadvbanner{ text-align:center; margin: 0 auto ; padding: 20px ; width:950px; border:1px solid black; } td.upmidadvbanner{ text-align:center; margin: 0 auto ; padding: 20px ; width:880px; border:1px solid black; } div.userpagelmenu{ width:90px; height:500px;float:left; text-align:left; } div.userpagecontent{ width:896px; float:right; overflow:hidden; } td.upimageband{ width: 890px ; vertical-align: top ; padding: 15px 0px 15px 0px ; text-align: center ; border : 1px solid black ; min-height : 200px ; max-width : 890px ; overflow : hidden ; } div.linksdivarea{ text-align : left ; margin : 1px 45px 1px 45px ; } div.uplinksdivarea{ text-align : left ; margin : 1px 2px 1px 2px ; max-width : 890px; } div.username{ color: #0AF3Ef; font-weight:bold; } input.addpictureinput{ color : white ; background : black ; border : 1px dotted white ; width : 600px; } select.addpictureinput{ color : white ; background : black ; border : 1px dotted white ; width : 220px; } .addpanel { padding:20px; border:2px solid black; position:relative; top:0px; background: #505050; } .addpanelinfo{ width: 600px; margin:0 auto; text-align:left ; } div.upbutton{ border:1px white solid; color:white; font-weight:bold; text-align:center; cursor:pointer; padding:3px; float : left ; max-width:200px; margin:5px; } span.upbutton{ border:1px white solid; color:white; font-weight:bold; text-align:center; cursor:pointer; padding:3px; max-width:200px; margin:5px; } div.usertable{ width : 830px ; overflow : hidden ; padding : 10px ; padding-left: 50px ; text-align : left; } .usertable a{ font-weight : bold ; color : #0AF3Ef; } .usertable h1{ position : relative ; left : -10px ; font-weight : 600 ; text-decoration: underline ; margin-bottom: 3px; } div.userfelist{ padding-top: 10px ; width : 250px ; float : left ; } td.uptd{ // background: #113C69; } div.upmenuitem{ color: #AAAAAA ; font-weight: 600 ; margin-bottom:3px; margin-top:3px; } div.upmenuitemr{ color: #FF5050 ; font-weight: 600 ; margin-bottom:3px; margin-top:3px; } .upmenuitem a{ color: #AAAAAA ; font-weight : bold ; } .upmenuitemr a{ color: #FF2020 ; font-weight : bold ; } .actadiv div{ height : 50px; text-align : right ; margin: 50px; } .actadiv a { width : 100% ; font-weight : bold ; color : white ; } #imblisthead{ width:100%; height: 40px; } #imblistmain{background: #505050; width: 100%; height: 400px;position:relative;z-index:-1;} #imblistnavi{position:relative; z-index:100; top:2px;} #imblistnavi ul{list-style: none;height: 30px; display: block; padding-left:30px;} #imblistnavi li a{cursor:pointer;display: inline; width: 120px; height: 28px; margin:10px 5px 0px 5px; background:#404040; float: left; text-align: center; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid black ; color:gray; } #imblistnavi .klik a{background: #404040; border: 1px solid black; border-bottom:1px solid #404040; color:white;} #imblistheadd{ width:100%; height: 40px; } #imblistmaind{background: #303030; width: 100%; height: 400px;position:relative;z-index:-1;} #imblistnavid{position:relative; z-index:100; top:2px;} #imblistnavid ul{list-style: none;height: 30px; display: block; padding-left:30px;} #imblistnavid li a{cursor:pointer;display: inline; width: 120px; height: 28px; margin:10px 5px 0px 5px; background:#303030; float: left; text-align: center; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid black ; color:gray; } #imblistnavid .klik a{background: #303030; border: 1px solid black; border-bottom:1px solid #303030; color:white;} div.partieshead{ width:100%; height: 40px; } div.partiesmain{background: #505050; width: 100%; height: 400px;position:relative;z-index:-1;} div.partiesnavi{position:relative; z-index:100; top:2px;} div.partiesnavi ul{list-style: none;height: 30px; display: block; padding-left:30px;} div.partiesnavi li {cursor:pointer;display: inline; width: 120px; height: 28px; margin:10px 5px 0px 5px; background:#404040; float: left; text-align: center; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid black ; color:gray; } div.partiesnavi .klik {background: #404040; border: 1px solid black; border-bottom:1px solid #404040; color:white;} div.partiesdiv { margin:0px; margin-top:1px; background:#404040; text-align: left; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid black ; color:#CCCCCC; padding: 10px; } div.partiesdiv a{ font-weight:bold; color:yellow;} div.partiesdiv h1{ margin-top:5px; font-weight:bold; color:#0AF3EF; } div.partiesdiv h2{ margin-bottom:5px; font-weight:bold; color:gray; } div.partiesspacer { border-bottom:1px solid gray; margin-top:10px; margin-bottom:10px; } div.prevnext { display:inline-block; position:relative; width:100%; height:1px; overflow:visible; top:200px; } .prevnext div{ height:50px; width:36px; } .prevnext a{ font-weight : bold ; color : #808080 ; display: block ; height: 50px; padding-left: 3px; padding-right: 3px; vertical-align: middle ; } .prevnext a:hover{ color:white; } div.prevnextd { display:inline-block; position:relative; width:100%; height:1px; overflow:visible; top:200px; } .prevnextd div{ height:50px; width:36px; } .prevnextd a{ font-weight : bold ; color : #808080 ; display:block; height: 50px; padding-left: 3px; padding-right: 3px; background: none ; } .prevnextd a:hover{ color:white; } a.prevnextn{ vertical-align:middle ; display:inline-block ; margin:0 auto; } a.prevnextnext{ vertical-align:middle ; display:inline-block ; margin:0 auto; width:51px; height:52px; background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/prawy1.png"); } a.prevnextnext:hover{ background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/prawy2.png"); } a.prevnextprev{ vertical-align:middle ; display:inline-block ; margin:0 auto; width:51px; height:52px; background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/lewy1.png"); } a.prevnextprev:hover{ background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/lewy2.png"); } a.prevnextn img{ vertical-align:middle ; border: none; display: block; } div.imageheader{ padding: 10px 10px 10px 10px ; margin : 0px 45px 0px 45px ; font-weight: 500 ; min-height: 43px ; max-width : 920px ; } div.upimageheader{ padding: 10px 5px 10px 5px ; margin : 0px 5px 0px 5px ; font-weight: 500 ; min-height: 43px ; max-width : 890px ; } div.scrollerw{ margin:0 auto; max-width:901px ; width:897px ; height : 100px ; overflow : hidden ; border: 1px solid black ; padding: 2px ; } .scrollerw div.lui{ width:50px; height:100px; padding:0px ; margin:0px; background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/lewa-prawa.jpg") -50px 0px no-repeat; cursor : pointer ; } .scrollerw div.lui:hover{ background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/lewa-prawa.jpg") 0px 0px no-repeat; } .scrollerw div.rdi{ padding:0px ; margin:0px; width:50px; height:100px; background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/lewa-prawa.jpg") -100px 0px no-repeat; cursor : pointer ; } .scrollerw div.rdi:hover{ background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/lewa-prawa.jpg") -150px 0px no-repeat; } .scrollerw div { width: 797px; max-width:900px; overflow : hidden ; float : left ; margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px ; } .scrollerw ul{ width : 5700px ; position : relative ; } .scrollerw li{ padding: 0px 4px 0px 4px ; display: inline-block ; } .scrollerw a{ display: block ; } div.scrollerh{ margin:0 auto; max-width:150px ; width:150px ; height : 630px ; overflow : hidden ; border: 1px solid black ; position : absolute ; left : 10px ; } .scrollerh div.lui{ width:150px; height:50px; padding:0px ; margin:0px; background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/gora-dol.jpg") 0px -50px no-repeat; } .scrollerh div.lui:hover{ background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/gora-dol.jpg") 0px 0px no-repeat; } .scrollerh div.rdi{ padding:0px ; margin:0px; width:150px; height:50px; background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/gora-dol.jpg") 0px -100px no-repeat; } .scrollerh div.rdi:hover{ background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/gora-dol.jpg") 0px -150px no-repeat; } .scrollerh div { height: 530px; max-width:530px; overflow : hidden ; float : left ; margin: 1px 0px 1px 0px ; } .scrollerh ul{ height : 1500px ; position : relative ; margin : 0px ; padding : 0px ; } .scrollerh li{ padding: 3px 0px 3px 0px ; display: block ; } .scrollerh a{ display: block ; } div.soinfo{ color: white; font-weight:bold; margin:10px 45px 0px 45px; padding:10px 0px 0px 0px;} div.showother { border: 1px solid black; margin:0px 45px 0px 45px; padding:10px 0px 0px 0px; max-height:150px; } .showother ul{ max-height:150px; overflow:hidden; vertical-align:top; } .showother li{ padding:2px; border:1px solid white; margin-left:14px; margin-right:14px; display: inline-block; vertical-align:top; } .showother img{ vertical-align: top; } .showother div{ height:1px; } img.sofader{ position:relative; top:-20px; width:100%; height:20px; } div.darkscreen{ position:fixed; margin: auto; height:100%; width:100%; text-align:center; padding-top:200px; background:black; opacity:0.5; filter:alpha(opacity=50); z-index:1; } div.lightscreen{ position:fixed; margin: auto; height:100%; width:100%; text-align:center; z-index:65535; vertical-align:middle; } div.loginpaneln{ color : #FFFFFF ; border : 1px solid gray ; border-radius: 8px 8px 8px 8px; display : block ; height : 270px ; padding : 0px 0px 0px 0px ; margin : 0px 0px 0px 0px ; outline-style : none ; width : 400px ; overflow : hidden ; z-index: 100 ; word-spacing : 3px ; } div.lpld { float: left ; height:20px; text-align:right; width:150px; padding-top:2px; padding-bottom:5px; } div.lprd { float: right ; height:20px; text-align:left; width:240px; padding-top:2px; vertical-align:middle; padding-bottom:5px; } div.lpmd { height:22px; text-align:center; width:390px; padding-top:2px; vertical-align:baseline; padding-bottom:5px; } span.playweb{ display:inline-block; width:20px; height:28px; cursor:pointer; float:right; margin-left:4px; } #nextcomid{ font-weight:bold; width:100%; text-align:center; } div.youtubeplay { position:relative; top:-552px; width:640px; height:510px; cursor:pointer ; background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/youtube_play1.png") no-repeat center center transparent; } div.youtubeplay:hover { background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/youtube_play2.png") no-repeat center center transparent; } div.viponoff{ cursor:pointer; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; font-weight:bold; color:white; border:1px solid white; width: 250px; } div.mikolaj{ margin:0 auto; text-align : center; padding-top:10px; font-weight: bold; color: #ff1010; } div.wosplike{ margin: auto; margin-top:-350px; width:750px; height:350px; } div.wospwiocha{ margin:0 ; padding:0px 20px 0px 30px; height:45px; text-align:left; } div.wosplinki{ width:400px; text-align:left; margin: 0 auto; padding-top:65px; padding-left:10px; height:100px; } div.wosplinki a{ display:block; padding-top:10px; color:blue; font-weight: bold; } div.wosplinki a:hover{ color:#FE0000; } div.wospkawusia{ margin:0 ; padding:90px 10px 0px 30px; height:130px; text-align:left; } div.qhlc{ text-align:left; float:right; width: 830px; } div.qhrc{ text-align:left; float:left; padding-left:3px; } div.botinfo{ width:900px; max-width:900px; background:yellow; color:red ; } div.statheader{ width:1010px; margin:0 auto; color:white; word-spacing: 20px; padding:5px; } div.statdata{ width:1060px; max-width:1060px ; margin:0 auto; overflow-x: auto ; height: 730px; } div.paginationdiv{ margin: 0 auto ; text-align: center ; } div.paginationdiv div{ border: 1px solid black ; font: bold 12px arial,verdana,tahoma,helvetica,sans-serif; height : 17px ; margin-left: 3px; padding: 2px 5px 2px 5px ; text-align: center; display:inline-block; min-width: 20px; } div.pagenbdiv{ } div.pagenbdiv a{ font: bold 12px arial,verdana,tahoma,helvetica,sans-serif; color: white ; } div.pagenbdivna{ color: #A0A0A0 ; } div.pagenbdivna a{ } div.pagenbdivcurr{ color: #ff8300 ; } div.pagenbdivcurr a{ font: bold 12px arial,verdana,tahoma,helvetica,sans-serif; color: #ff8300 ; } div.adminuserdiv{ width: 800px; margin: 0 auto; padding : 5px; font: bold 12px arial,verdana,tahoma,helvetica,sans-serif; } div.audiv1{ width: 300px ; text-align: right; display: inline-block ; } div.audiv2{ width: 150px ; display: inline-block ; } div.audiv3{ width: 150px ; display: inline-block ; } div.usercomments{ width:890px; max-width: 890px; text-align:center ; min-height : 100px ; } div.usercomment{ padding: 3px ; border: 1px solid black ; min-height : 100px ; text-align: left; } div.usercommenti{ padding: 3px ; margin-left:80px; border: 1px solid black ; min-height: 100px ; text-align: left ; } div.usercomment a{ font: 11px Verdana,Arial,Helvetica; color: #909090; } div.commentavatar{ width:80px; padding: 0px ; margin: 0px 5px 0px 0px ; float: left ; } div.commentavatar img{ border:1px solid black; width:80px; height:80px; } div.commentrightdiv{ padding: 3px; vertical-align: top ; margin: 0px; } div.commenttopdiv{ } div.commenttopdiv a{ color : #888888 ; font-weight : 600 ; text-decoration : none ; display: inline-block ; float : left ; } div.commenttopdiva{ } div.commenttopdiva a{ color : red ; font-weight : 600 ; text-decoration : none ; display : inline-block ; float : left ; } div.commentbodydiv{ padding: 5px ; color : white ; text-align: left ; min-height : 30px; } div.commentdatediv{ text-align : left ; color : #888888 ; clear : right ; } div.commentocenadiv{ float : right ; vertical-align: middle ; } div.commentocenadiv img{ cursor:pointer ; vertical-align:middle ; } div.commentocenadiv span{ vertical-align: middle ; } div.commentansdiv{ clear : both ; } div.cookieinfo{ position:fixed ; bottom:0px; left:0px; background:#505050; width:100%; padding:20px; border: 1px solid black; } div.cookieinfo span{ color:white; font-weight:bold; cursor:pointer ; margin-left: 20px; } div.absurddiv{ margin: 0 auto; margin-top:2px ; margin-bottom: 5px ; padding:15px 10px 15px 10px; max-width: 990px; border: 1px solid black; } div.searchdiv{ text-align: left ; vertical-align: middle ; padding: 2px ; padding-top: 10px; } div.righthalfpage{ position: relative ; left : 680px; height : 10px; } div.tinfopanel { text-align:center; margin: 0 auto ; padding-top: 20px ; padding-bottom:20px; } div.tinfopanel table{ margin: 0 auto; } div.tinfopanel div{ margin: 0 auto; } div.comdiv{ vertical-align: top ; margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px ; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px ; text-align: right ; border : 1px solid black ; width: 100%; } div.catlist1{ border : 1px solid gray ; display : none ; padding : 0px 0px 0px 0px ; margin : 0px 0px 0px 0px ; outline-style : none ; position : absolute ; top : 45px; overflow : hidden ; z-index: 65500 ; word-spacing : 3px ; } div.catlist1:hover{ display : block ; } div.catlist1 > ul { display : block ; overflow : hidden ; padding : 0px ; margin : 0px ; list-style-type: none ; color: white ; text-align : left ; vertical-align : middle ; display : block ; } div.catlist1 > ul > li { border : 0px ; position : relative ; height : 30px ; overflow : visible ; list-style-type : none ; color : white ; vertical-align : middle ; font-weight : bold ; display : block ; padding:0px; } div.catlist1 > ul > li:hover{ color : black ; } div.catlist1 > ul > li > a { font: 600 12px Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; border : 0px ; overflow : hidden ; color : white ; text-decoration : none ; padding-top: 6px ; padding-left: 3px ; padding-right: 3px; top:0px; display:block ; } div.catlist1 > ul > li > a:hover{ color : black ; } div.catlist1 > ul > li:hover{ color : black ; } #facecontainer { height:1px; text-align:left; position:absolute; left:10px; top:27px; display : none ; } @media all and (min-width:1340px){ #facecontainer { display : block ; } } div.sky { width: 160px; height: 600px; background: none ; margin:0 auto ; display:none !important; } @media all and (min-width:1340px){ div.sky { display : block !important; } } #mobilecontainer { margin-left : 0px ; transition : margin-left 0.2s linear 0s; width : 100% ; min-width : 300px; } #mainbody[data-panel="open"] #mobilecontainer{ margin-left : 500px; } nav.mobilemenu { visibility : hidden ; height : 100% ; position : fixed ; left : -500px; top : 0px ; max-width : 500px; width : 100% ; overflow-y: auto !important ; z-index: 65535 ; transition : left 0.2s linear 0s, visibility 0.2s linear 0s; border : none ; padding-top : 22px; } #mainbody[data-panel="open"] #mobilemenu{ visibility : visible ; left: 0px; } nav.vis { visibility : visible ; left: 0px; } #mobilemenu > ul { display : block ; vertical-align : top ; padding: 5px 0px 5px 0px ; border: none ; } #mobilemenu > ul > li { padding : 2px ; display : block ; } #mobilemenu > ul > li:hover { } #mobilemenu > ul > li > a { color : white ; font: 5em tahoma,verdana,arial ; display : block ; padding : 2px; } #mobilemenu > ul > li > a.cum { color : #ff2020 ; font-weight : bold ; } #mobilemenu > ul > li > a:hover { } ul#mobsubmenu1 { display : none ; vertical-align : top ; padding: 5px 0px 5px 10px ; } ul#mobsubmenu1.vis { display : block ; } #mobsubmenu1 > li { padding : 2px ; display : block ; } #mobsubmenu1 > li > a { color : white ; font: 4em tahoma,verdana,arial ; display : block ; padding : 2px; } #mobsubmenu1 > li > a.cum { color : #ff2020 ; font-weight : bold ; } #mobsubmenu1 > li > a:hover { } ul#mobsubmenu2 { display : none ; vertical-align : top ; padding: 5px 0px 5px 10px ; } ul#mobsubmenu2.vis { display : block ; } #mobsubmenu2 > li { padding : 2px ; display : block ; } #mobsubmenu2 > li > a { color : white ; font: 4em tahoma,verdana,arial ; display : block ; padding : 2px; } #mobsubmenu2 > li > a.cum { color : #ff2020 ; font-weight : bold ; } #mobsubmenu2 > li > a:hover { } a.arr { background: url( "http://img.wiocha.pl/img/arrow-right-menu.png" ) no-repeat scroll 210px center rgba(51,51,51,0.9); } a.arr:hover { background: url( "http://img.wiocha.pl/img/arrow-right-menu.png" ) no-repeat scroll 210px center rgb(102,102,102); } div.mobilepaginationdiv{ margin: 0 auto ; padding : 10px; text-align: center ; } div.mobilepaginationdiv > a{ color : white ; border: 3px solid white ; border-radius : 5px; font: bold 6em arial,verdana,tahoma,helvetica,sans-serif; padding: 5px 8px 5px 8px ; margin: 10px; text-align: center; display:inline-block; } div.ytsmart{ width : 468px; margin : 0 auto ; height : 60px; border : none ; background : none ; position : relative ; top : -88px; margin-bottom : -60px; } var toyt = [] ; CatList = new Object(); CatList.id = "catlist" ; CatList.parentid = "catwybor" ; CatList.height = 300 ; CatList.lastitem = "brak" ; CatList.showing = false ; Listy = new Array( CatList ); function showlist( listnb , item ){ lista = Listy[ listnb ] ; lista.lastitem = item ; lista.showing = true ; document.getElementById(lista.id).style.left = document.getElementById(lista.parentid).offsetLeft + "px" ; document.getElementById(lista.id).style.top = 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text-align:center; height:14px; } .pluginCountButtonNub { height: 0; left: -10px; position: relative; top: -13px; width: 5px; z-index: 2; } .pluginCountButtonNub s, .pluginCountButtonNub i { border-color: transparent #D7D7D7; border-style: solid; border-width: 4px 5px 4px 0; display: block; position: relative; top: 1px; left:0px; } .pluginCountButtonNub i { border-right-color: #FFFFFF; left: 2px; top: -7px; } div.sharecount { border:1px solid #C1C1C1; background:#EEEEEE; color:black; display:block; float:left; padding:2px 4px 1px 4px; margin:1px 12px 1px 2px; color: #333333; min-width:12px; text-align:center; } div.sharecount1 { border:1px solid #C1C1C1; background:#EEEEEE; color:black; display:block; float:left; padding:2px 4px 1px 4px; margin:1px 6px 1px 2px; color: #333333; min-width:12px; text-align:center; font-weight:bold;} div.sharebutton{ border:1px solid #CAD4E7; display:block; float:left; border-radius:3px; cursor:pointer; padding:1px 0px 0px 2px; margin-left:5px; margin-top:0px; margin-right:4px; } .sharebutton div{ background: url("http://static.ak.fbcdn.net/rsrc.php/v1/y7/r/ql9vukDCc4R.png") no-repeat scroll -1px -47px transparent; padding: 0px 2px 2px 16px; display:block; border-collapse:collapse; color:#3B5998; } div.sharebutton1{ border:1px solid #CAD4E7; display:block; float:left; -moz-border-radius:3px 3px 3px 3px; cursor:pointer; padding:2px 0px 0px 3px; margin-right:3px; } .sharebutton1 div{ background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/share.png") no-repeat ; padding: 0px 2px 2px 16px; display:block; border-collapse:collapse; color:#3B5998;} div.sharebuttonm{ border:1px solid #CAD4E7; display:block; float:left; -moz-border-radius:3px 3px 3px 3px; cursor:pointer; padding:2px 0px 0px 3px; margin-right:3px; } .sharebuttonm div{ background: url("http://static.ak.fbcdn.net/rsrc.php/v1/y7/r/ql9vukDCc4R.png") no-repeat scroll -1px -47px transparent; padding: 0px 2px 2px 16px; display:block; border-collapse:collapse; color:#3B5998; } td.knag { font-weight:bold; border-bottom: 2px solid white; padding-bottom:3px; } a.topmenu_konkurs{ display: inline-block ; width: 99px ; height: 41px ; background-image: url( "http://img.wiocha.pl/img/konkurs.jpg" ); } a.topmenu_konkurs:hover{ background-image: url( "http://img.wiocha.pl/img/konkurs_1.jpg" ); } div.friendlist { position:absolute; width:300px; height:572px; border:1px solid black; background:#505050; overflow:hidden; z-index:65000;} div.flcontent { height:528px; overflow:hidden; cursor:default; position:relative; top:22px;} div.flscroll{ width:10px; background:url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/scrolljj.png"); position:absolute; right:0px; height:100%; float:right; top:21px; border-radius: 2px; cursor:default; } div.flscrollp{ width:10px; background:url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/scrollj.png"); position:absolute; right:0px; border-radius: 2px; cursor:default; } div.flscrollp:hover{ background:url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/scroll.png"); } .flcontent li { padding:0px 0px 3px 0px; display:block; border-bottom:1px solid black ; margin-bottom:2px;} div.flbar { display:block;text-align:center;border:1px solid black;background:#C0C0C0; padding:2px;color:black; height:14px; position:absolute; width:100%; } .avatar { width:60px; height:60px; border:0px; float:left; } div.online { float:left; height:18px; padding-top:5px; width:8px; text-align:right; } div.usun { float:right; text-align:right; max-width:120px; height:25px; overflow:hidden; margin-right:5px; width:120px; padding-top:9px; } div.usun1 { float:right; text-align:right; max-width:150px; height:18px; overflow:hidden; margin-right:5px; width:150px; padding-top:3px; } div.mailab { float:left; text-align:left; max-width:70px; height:17px; overflow:hidden; margin-left:5px; margin-top:5px; width:70px; } div.line1 { float:left; max-width:200px; height:1px; overflow:hidden; width:200px; } .usun a { font-weight:bold; } .usun1 a { font-weight:bold; } div.uname { float:left; text-align:left; width:215px; height:20px; overflow:hidden; margin-left:5px; } .uname a { color: #0AF3Ef; font-weight:bold; } div.ubuttons { float:left; text-align:right; width:227px; height:18px; overflow:hidden; margin-left:5px; vertical-align:bottom; margin-top:5px; } a.ubuttonp { color: #404040; font-weight:bold; padding:3px; background: #B5FFA7; height:15px; width:80px; display:inline-block; text-align:center; vertical-align:middle; } a.ubuttono { color: #404040; font-weight:bold; padding:3px; background:#FD878A; height:15px; width:80px; display:inline-block; text-align:center; vertical-align:middle; } div.ranga { background:url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/rangi4.jpg"); width:95px; height:18px; margin:auto; text-align:right; padding-right:5px; font-weight:bold; color:white;} div.rangas { background:url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/rangis.jpg"); width:73px; height:14px; margin:auto; text-align:right; padding-right:5px; font-weight:bold; color:white; } div.rigthfr { float:left; } div.relt{ width:25px; float:left; height:20px; } div.uplleft{ width:190px; text-align:right; float:left; height:16px; } div.uplright{ width:190px; margin-left:10px; float:right; text-align:left; font-weight:bold; height:16px; } div.uplleftw{ width:190px; text-align:right; float:left; font-weight: bold ; height:16px; } div.uplrightw{ width:190px; margin-left:10px; float:right; text-align:left; font-weight:bold; color:red; height:16px; } div.relt1{ width:50px; float:left; height:22px; padding-top:2px; background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/emoty/killer1.gif") 2px 4px no-repeat ; } div.relt2{ width:50px; float:left; height:22px; padding-top:2px; background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/emoty/pila1.gif") 0px 0px no-repeat ; } div.rlleft{ width:200px; margin:0 auto; height:22px; float:left; } div.rlright{ margin:0 auto; height:22px; float:left; } div.hadv{ width:470px; margin: 0 auto; float: left; text-align:center; height:300px; } div.nhadv{ width:470px; margin: 0 auto; float: right; text-align:center; vertical-align:middle ; min-height:250px; padding-top:25px;} div.uphadv{ width:420px; margin: 0 auto; float: left; text-align:center; height:300px; } div.upnhadv{ width:420px; margin: 0 auto; float: right; text-align:center; vertical-align:middle ; height:250px; padding-top:25px;} td.midadvbanner{ text-align:center; margin: 0 auto ; padding: 20px ; width:950px; border:1px solid black; } td.upmidadvbanner{ text-align:center; margin: 0 auto ; padding: 20px ; width:880px; border:1px solid black; } div.userpagelmenu{ width:90px; height:500px;float:left; text-align:left; } div.userpagecontent{ width:896px; float:right; overflow:hidden; } td.upimageband{ width: 890px ; vertical-align: top ; padding: 15px 0px 15px 0px ; text-align: center ; border : 1px solid black ; min-height : 200px ; max-width : 890px ; overflow : hidden ; } div.linksdivarea{ text-align : left ; margin : 1px 45px 1px 45px ; } div.uplinksdivarea{ text-align : left ; margin : 1px 2px 1px 2px ; max-width : 890px; } div.username{ color: #0AF3Ef; font-weight:bold; } input.addpictureinput{ color : white ; background : black ; border : 1px dotted white ; width : 600px; } select.addpictureinput{ color : white ; background : black ; border : 1px dotted white ; width : 220px; } .addpanel { padding:20px; border:2px solid black; position:relative; top:0px; background: #505050; } .addpanelinfo{ width: 600px; margin:0 auto; text-align:left ; } div.upbutton{ border:1px white solid; color:white; font-weight:bold; text-align:center; cursor:pointer; padding:3px; float : left ; max-width:200px; margin:5px; } span.upbutton{ border:1px white solid; color:white; font-weight:bold; text-align:center; cursor:pointer; padding:3px; max-width:200px; margin:5px; } div.usertable{ width : 830px ; overflow : hidden ; padding : 10px ; padding-left: 50px ; text-align : left; } .usertable a{ font-weight : bold ; color : #0AF3Ef; } .usertable h1{ position : relative ; left : -10px ; font-weight : 600 ; text-decoration: underline ; margin-bottom: 3px; } div.userfelist{ padding-top: 10px ; width : 250px ; float : left ; } td.uptd{ // background: #113C69; } div.upmenuitem{ color: #AAAAAA ; font-weight: 600 ; margin-bottom:3px; margin-top:3px; } div.upmenuitemr{ color: #FF5050 ; font-weight: 600 ; margin-bottom:3px; margin-top:3px; } .upmenuitem a{ color: #AAAAAA ; font-weight : bold ; } .upmenuitemr a{ color: #FF2020 ; font-weight : bold ; } .actadiv div{ height : 50px; text-align : right ; margin: 50px; } .actadiv a { width : 100% ; font-weight : bold ; color : white ; } #imblisthead{ width:100%; height: 40px; } #imblistmain{background: #505050; width: 100%; height: 400px;position:relative;z-index:-1;} #imblistnavi{position:relative; z-index:100; top:2px;} #imblistnavi ul{list-style: none;height: 30px; display: block; padding-left:30px;} #imblistnavi li a{cursor:pointer;display: inline; width: 120px; height: 28px; margin:10px 5px 0px 5px; background:#404040; float: left; text-align: center; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid black ; color:gray; } #imblistnavi .klik a{background: #404040; border: 1px solid black; border-bottom:1px solid #404040; color:white;} #imblistheadd{ width:100%; height: 40px; } #imblistmaind{background: #303030; width: 100%; height: 400px;position:relative;z-index:-1;} #imblistnavid{position:relative; z-index:100; top:2px;} #imblistnavid ul{list-style: none;height: 30px; display: block; padding-left:30px;} #imblistnavid li a{cursor:pointer;display: inline; width: 120px; height: 28px; margin:10px 5px 0px 5px; background:#303030; float: left; text-align: center; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid black ; color:gray; } #imblistnavid .klik a{background: #303030; border: 1px solid black; border-bottom:1px solid #303030; color:white;} div.partieshead{ width:100%; height: 40px; } div.partiesmain{background: #505050; width: 100%; height: 400px;position:relative;z-index:-1;} div.partiesnavi{position:relative; z-index:100; top:2px;} div.partiesnavi ul{list-style: none;height: 30px; display: block; padding-left:30px;} div.partiesnavi li {cursor:pointer;display: inline; width: 120px; height: 28px; margin:10px 5px 0px 5px; background:#404040; float: left; text-align: center; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid black ; color:gray; } div.partiesnavi .klik {background: #404040; border: 1px solid black; border-bottom:1px solid #404040; color:white;} div.partiesdiv { margin:0px; margin-top:1px; background:#404040; text-align: left; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid black ; color:#CCCCCC; padding: 10px; } div.partiesdiv a{ font-weight:bold; color:yellow;} div.partiesdiv h1{ margin-top:5px; font-weight:bold; color:#0AF3EF; } div.partiesdiv h2{ margin-bottom:5px; font-weight:bold; color:gray; } div.partiesspacer { border-bottom:1px solid gray; margin-top:10px; margin-bottom:10px; } div.prevnext { display:inline-block; position:relative; width:100%; height:1px; overflow:visible; top:200px; } .prevnext div{ height:50px; width:36px; } .prevnext a{ font-weight : bold ; color : #808080 ; display: block ; height: 50px; padding-left: 3px; padding-right: 3px; vertical-align: middle ; } .prevnext a:hover{ color:white; } div.prevnextd { display:inline-block; position:relative; width:100%; height:1px; overflow:visible; top:200px; } .prevnextd div{ height:50px; width:36px; } .prevnextd a{ font-weight : bold ; color : #808080 ; display:block; height: 50px; padding-left: 3px; padding-right: 3px; background: none ; } .prevnextd a:hover{ color:white; } a.prevnextn{ vertical-align:middle ; display:inline-block ; margin:0 auto; } a.prevnextnext{ vertical-align:middle ; display:inline-block ; margin:0 auto; width:51px; height:52px; background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/prawy1.png"); } a.prevnextnext:hover{ background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/prawy2.png"); } a.prevnextprev{ vertical-align:middle ; display:inline-block ; margin:0 auto; width:51px; height:52px; background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/lewy1.png"); } a.prevnextprev:hover{ background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/lewy2.png"); } a.prevnextn img{ vertical-align:middle ; border: none; display: block; } div.imageheader{ padding: 10px 10px 10px 10px ; margin : 0px 45px 0px 45px ; font-weight: 500 ; min-height: 43px ; max-width : 920px ; } div.upimageheader{ padding: 10px 5px 10px 5px ; margin : 0px 5px 0px 5px ; font-weight: 500 ; min-height: 43px ; max-width : 890px ; } div.scrollerw{ margin:0 auto; max-width:901px ; width:897px ; height : 100px ; overflow : hidden ; border: 1px solid black ; padding: 2px ; } .scrollerw div.lui{ width:50px; height:100px; padding:0px ; margin:0px; background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/lewa-prawa.jpg") -50px 0px no-repeat; cursor : pointer ; } .scrollerw div.lui:hover{ background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/lewa-prawa.jpg") 0px 0px no-repeat; } .scrollerw div.rdi{ padding:0px ; margin:0px; width:50px; height:100px; background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/lewa-prawa.jpg") -100px 0px no-repeat; cursor : pointer ; } .scrollerw div.rdi:hover{ background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/lewa-prawa.jpg") -150px 0px no-repeat; } .scrollerw div { width: 797px; max-width:900px; overflow : hidden ; float : left ; margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px ; } .scrollerw ul{ width : 5700px ; position : relative ; } .scrollerw li{ padding: 0px 4px 0px 4px ; display: inline-block ; } .scrollerw a{ display: block ; } div.scrollerh{ margin:0 auto; max-width:150px ; width:150px ; height : 630px ; overflow : hidden ; border: 1px solid black ; position : absolute ; left : 10px ; } .scrollerh div.lui{ width:150px; height:50px; padding:0px ; margin:0px; background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/gora-dol.jpg") 0px -50px no-repeat; } .scrollerh div.lui:hover{ background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/gora-dol.jpg") 0px 0px no-repeat; } .scrollerh div.rdi{ padding:0px ; margin:0px; width:150px; height:50px; background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/gora-dol.jpg") 0px -100px no-repeat; } .scrollerh div.rdi:hover{ background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/gora-dol.jpg") 0px -150px no-repeat; } .scrollerh div { height: 530px; max-width:530px; overflow : hidden ; float : left ; margin: 1px 0px 1px 0px ; } .scrollerh ul{ height : 1500px ; position : relative ; margin : 0px ; padding : 0px ; } .scrollerh li{ padding: 3px 0px 3px 0px ; display: block ; } .scrollerh a{ display: block ; } div.soinfo{ color: white; font-weight:bold; margin:10px 45px 0px 45px; padding:10px 0px 0px 0px;} div.showother { border: 1px solid black; margin:0px 45px 0px 45px; padding:10px 0px 0px 0px; max-height:150px; } .showother ul{ max-height:150px; overflow:hidden; vertical-align:top; } .showother li{ padding:2px; border:1px solid white; margin-left:14px; margin-right:14px; display: inline-block; vertical-align:top; } .showother img{ vertical-align: top; } .showother div{ height:1px; } img.sofader{ position:relative; top:-20px; width:100%; height:20px; } div.darkscreen{ position:fixed; margin: auto; height:100%; width:100%; text-align:center; padding-top:200px; background:black; opacity:0.5; filter:alpha(opacity=50); z-index:1; } div.lightscreen{ position:fixed; margin: auto; height:100%; width:100%; text-align:center; z-index:65535; vertical-align:middle; } div.loginpaneln{ color : #FFFFFF ; border : 1px solid gray ; border-radius: 8px 8px 8px 8px; display : block ; height : 270px ; padding : 0px 0px 0px 0px ; margin : 0px 0px 0px 0px ; outline-style : none ; width : 400px ; overflow : hidden ; z-index: 100 ; word-spacing : 3px ; } div.lpld { float: left ; height:20px; text-align:right; width:150px; padding-top:2px; padding-bottom:5px; } div.lprd { float: right ; height:20px; text-align:left; width:240px; padding-top:2px; vertical-align:middle; padding-bottom:5px; } div.lpmd { height:22px; text-align:center; width:390px; padding-top:2px; vertical-align:baseline; padding-bottom:5px; } span.playweb{ display:inline-block; width:20px; height:28px; cursor:pointer; float:right; margin-left:4px; } #nextcomid{ font-weight:bold; width:100%; text-align:center; } div.youtubeplay { position:relative; top:-552px; width:640px; height:510px; cursor:pointer ; background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/youtube_play1.png") no-repeat center center transparent; } div.youtubeplay:hover { background: url("http://img.wiocha.pl/img/youtube_play2.png") no-repeat center center transparent; } div.viponoff{ cursor:pointer; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; font-weight:bold; color:white; border:1px solid white; width: 250px; } div.mikolaj{ margin:0 auto; text-align : center; padding-top:10px; font-weight: bold; color: #ff1010; } div.wosplike{ margin: auto; margin-top:-350px; width:750px; height:350px; } div.wospwiocha{ margin:0 ; padding:0px 20px 0px 30px; height:45px; text-align:left; } div.wosplinki{ width:400px; text-align:left; margin: 0 auto; padding-top:65px; padding-left:10px; height:100px; } div.wosplinki a{ display:block; padding-top:10px; color:blue; font-weight: bold; } div.wosplinki a:hover{ color:#FE0000; } div.wospkawusia{ margin:0 ; padding:90px 10px 0px 30px; height:130px; text-align:left; } div.qhlc{ text-align:left; float:right; width: 830px; } div.qhrc{ text-align:left; float:left; padding-left:3px; } div.botinfo{ width:900px; max-width:900px; background:yellow; color:red ; } div.statheader{ width:1010px; margin:0 auto; color:white; word-spacing: 20px; padding:5px; } div.statdata{ width:1060px; max-width:1060px ; margin:0 auto; overflow-x: auto ; height: 730px; } div.paginationdiv{ margin: 0 auto ; text-align: center ; } div.paginationdiv div{ border: 1px solid black ; font: bold 12px arial,verdana,tahoma,helvetica,sans-serif; height : 17px ; margin-left: 3px; padding: 2px 5px 2px 5px ; text-align: center; display:inline-block; min-width: 20px; } div.pagenbdiv{ } div.pagenbdiv a{ font: bold 12px arial,verdana,tahoma,helvetica,sans-serif; color: white ; } div.pagenbdivna{ color: #A0A0A0 ; } div.pagenbdivna a{ } div.pagenbdivcurr{ color: #ff8300 ; } div.pagenbdivcurr a{ font: bold 12px arial,verdana,tahoma,helvetica,sans-serif; color: #ff8300 ; } div.adminuserdiv{ width: 800px; margin: 0 auto; padding : 5px; font: bold 12px arial,verdana,tahoma,helvetica,sans-serif; } div.audiv1{ width: 300px ; text-align: right; display: inline-block ; } div.audiv2{ width: 150px ; display: inline-block ; } div.audiv3{ width: 150px ; display: inline-block ; } div.usercomments{ width:890px; max-width: 890px; text-align:center ; min-height : 100px ; } div.usercomment{ padding: 3px ; border: 1px solid black ; min-height : 100px ; text-align: left; } div.usercommenti{ padding: 3px ; margin-left:80px; border: 1px solid black ; min-height: 100px ; text-align: left ; } div.usercomment a{ font: 11px Verdana,Arial,Helvetica; color: #909090; } div.commentavatar{ width:80px; padding: 0px ; margin: 0px 5px 0px 0px ; float: left ; } div.commentavatar img{ border:1px solid black; width:80px; height:80px; } div.commentrightdiv{ padding: 3px; vertical-align: top ; margin: 0px; } div.commenttopdiv{ } div.commenttopdiv a{ color : #888888 ; font-weight : 600 ; text-decoration : none ; display: inline-block ; float : left ; } div.commenttopdiva{ } div.commenttopdiva a{ color : red ; font-weight : 600 ; text-decoration : none ; display : inline-block ; float : left ; } div.commentbodydiv{ padding: 5px ; color : white ; text-align: left ; min-height : 30px; } div.commentdatediv{ text-align : left ; color : #888888 ; clear : right ; } div.commentocenadiv{ float : right ; vertical-align: middle ; } div.commentocenadiv img{ cursor:pointer ; vertical-align:middle ; } div.commentocenadiv span{ vertical-align: middle ; } div.commentansdiv{ clear : both ; } div.cookieinfo{ position:fixed ; bottom:0px; left:0px; background:#505050; width:100%; padding:20px; border: 1px solid black; } div.cookieinfo span{ color:white; font-weight:bold; cursor:pointer ; margin-left: 20px; } div.absurddiv{ margin: 0 auto; margin-top:2px ; margin-bottom: 5px ; padding:15px 10px 15px 10px; max-width: 990px; border: 1px solid black; } div.searchdiv{ text-align: left ; vertical-align: middle ; padding: 2px ; padding-top: 10px; } div.righthalfpage{ position: relative ; left : 680px; height : 10px; } div.tinfopanel { text-align:center; margin: 0 auto ; padding-top: 20px ; padding-bottom:20px; } div.tinfopanel table{ margin: 0 auto; } div.tinfopanel div{ margin: 0 auto; } div.comdiv{ vertical-align: top ; margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px ; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px ; text-align: right ; border : 1px solid black ; width: 100%; } div.catlist1{ border : 1px solid gray ; display : none ; padding : 0px 0px 0px 0px ; margin : 0px 0px 0px 0px ; outline-style : none ; position : absolute ; top : 45px; overflow : hidden ; z-index: 65500 ; word-spacing : 3px ; } div.catlist1:hover{ display : block ; } div.catlist1 > ul { display : block ; overflow : hidden ; padding : 0px ; margin : 0px ; list-style-type: none ; color: white ; text-align : left ; vertical-align : middle ; display : block ; } 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musiało boleć hihihihi

musiało boleć hihihihi
Musiało;))) 

Wszystkie polskie partie wypracowały wspólny, bardzo ambitny plan dla Polski na najbliższe lata. Plan dostał kryptonim AKCJA WISŁA. Akcja ma polegać na pogłębianiu dna i trzymaniu się koryta.

Nic dodać nic ująć  , cała prawda w kilku sowach

Najczęściej praktykowania pozycją seksualną u par małżeńskich jest pozycją na pieska:Mąż siada na łóżku i prosi, a żona wywraca się na drugi bok i udaje martwą...... :).

Nie wiem kto maczał w tym temacie ręce, czy to błąd techniczny, ale pisać tu nie mogłem. Znalazłem sposób i uporałam się z niedogodnoscia ;). 

- Jakie były dwa najpopularniejsze imiona w PRL?
- Iza i Ania, bo w kolejce stało się iza masłem, iza chlebem, iza cukrem, a w sklepach nie było ani masła, ani chleba, ani cukru.

Dobry numer

Ale zwałka

W Nowym Orleanie, w tramwaju siedzi Murzyn i czyta gazetę żydowską. Współpasażer - Żyd klepie go poufale po ramieniu i mówi:
- Mało panu, że jest pan Murzynem ???

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ale porażka hihihihihihihi

Maria jest bardzo pobożna. Wychodzi za mąż i ma 17 dzieci. Jej mąż
umiera. Dwa tygodnie później ponownie wychodzi za mąż i ma 22 dzieci z
drugim mężem. On umiera. Niedługo potem ona także umiera.
Na pogrzebie ksiądz patrzy w niebo i mówi:
- Wreszcie są razem.
Facet siedzący w pierwszej ławce pyta:
- Przepraszam ojcze, ale ma ksiądz na myśli jej pierwszego męża czy drugiego?
Ksiądz na to:
- Miałem na myśli jej nogi.

Dzieci wiedzą najlepiej

To dla gości....
Żona do męża - dziś seksu nie będzie!Mąż - a dlaczego?Żona - bo nie kupiłeś prezerwatyw !Mąż - ale w barku jest cała paczka...Żona - TO DLA GOŚCI ....